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Sunday, September 16, 2007

a bonobo advantage

So today I got a mystery bite. It was a yellow and black fly sitting on my arm peacefully like it was minding its own business then I brushed it off and there was blood. Now there is this mf bite on my arm and it looks like this.

The bite feels a million degrees hot. I thought it might be a tsetse fly. Valery, the accountant, says if it was yellow it wasn’t a tsetse. Malonga says, definitely it was a tsetse. Valery’s nephew said to look it up on google. So I’m going to google it. I hope I don’t get sleeping sickness (don’t worry mummy, I’m sure it’s not a tsetse fly. But you can google it for me. Yellow with black stripes).

Then this morning Tory couldn’t test because Semendwa-the-bonobo stole Stany-the-keeper’s keys and ran into the forest with them. She still hasn’t brought them back. Semendwa is like a cat burglar. She can steal anything from your person at any time and you won't feel a thing. Once she stole this guy's glasses right off his face.

I get asked a lot whether bonobos are better than humans in any way. Usually I have a very long answer but I’ve narrowed it down. The female clitoris. Firstly, it is really big. It’s so long, a female can wrap it around my finger. If our clitorises were as easy to find as a bonobo females, I think there would be a lot less problems world over.

Also the clitoris is oriented ventrally towards the stomach so the missionary is presumably more pleasurable than it is for us. Also when the females get together, G-G rubbing looks like it feels good.

Here is Maya looking especially cute